Monday marked 6 months since I had that chunk of cancer ripped out of me. Tuesday marked a close friend having the fourth piece of cancer cut out of her. It's just too real. I hate it.
So I'm through my gradual return to work schedule. I was working 9-3 (Princess Hours) last week so it gave me time to get things done before and after work. My shoulder is still killing me but February 8th (my orthopedic surgeon appointment) is getting closer. Put up and shut up.
I had an appointment with my radiation oncologist on Friday. My first question was about an article I read about the residual side effects of radiation therapy. The radiation wasn't done on my head, but since I ended treatment and resumed work, my brain is fucked...fried. My multi tasking skills have diminished and my keyboarding skills are deteriorating. He basically said this can continue for the next ten years, or it could end tomorrow. Everyone is different. The anxiety I am experiencing should be discussed with my family doctor; currently I do not have one. Once again, put up and shut up.
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of my last day of radiation. I miss those people who work at the cancer centre. They kept me going, kept me smiling and gave me hope. Now I'm on my own and wonder how I make it through each day. I guess I need to focus on the things I have to look forward to. My favourite band Pearl Jam is coming to Ottawa on May 8th. I have no way of getting tickets so I am praying that a close friend can get the tickets for me. I feel awful depending on someone else for this but it may be my last time seeing the band that had kept me going over the last 25 years.
I have also accepted a position back on the Board of Directors for the public radio station I have been associated with for ten years - CJAI. As well, I am on a committee to plan the tenth anniversary party being held on April 1st at the Amherst Island Community Centre. And if that wasn't enough, I am attempting to organize another CKLC reunion show at the station on Friday May 20th;) so I guess the next few months will be busy. That may be best so I don't sit and think about myself.
So here's to the return of a 7.5 hour work day tomorrow. I hope staying busy somehow Keeps my mind off of my mind!
1 comment:
Hello Cat. This speaks volumes to me. My path isn't cancer related, but, the changes are so fast and new. I often ponder my journey, it's practicality and whether I can handle it. Then I find gems lime this. Not to belabour a friends suffering, you get it. You get what I am feeling. I can say to you, I get what you are feeling. The constant revolution of change. I am not alone. Thank you, Cat from Bath. My hero.
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