Four months since the dreaded diagnosis date

I just realized this afternoon that it has been 4 months today since I received that awful call AT work informing me I had breast cancer, Yes I know...what a place and a way to find out. It was partially my fault as I had bought a new cell phone on the Friday before that (while on holidays) and apparently my (new) family doctor was trying to contact me. How ironic that the four hours that I had no active cell phone, they were trying to call me! So this is part of the reason why I could not keep this a secret...my co-workers knew so I figured I should let all those around me know so there would be NO rumors - just facts. A few people have told me I should be keeping my trap shut; that I am alarming others by telling them. Sorry, that's not how I roll.

Since then I have had a plethora of tests, scans, blood work as well as one tumor and 5 lymph nodes removed. Long story short, the cancer was found in a lymph node inside my right breast which is the reason that I will need to endure 25 rounds of radiation - 30-45 minutes at a time. I also get to take a drug called Tamoxifen for ten years. (This drug not only brings on hot flashes, insomnia & depression but increases the chance of obtaining other forms of cancer.) The type of breast cancer I had was classified as 'aggressive', however a test was sent off to California which determined that chemo would only decrease my chances of re-occurrence by less than 2%. Without radiation my chances of re-occurrence are 1 in 3, with radiation it is 1 in 10. Four months later and I am still waiting for my radiation schedule. hopefully this week they will call me as its kind of close to the holidays.

So if you run into me somewhere, and are wondering why I have half washed-out pink and mostly grey hair, that would be due to the Run For The Cure I was in last month. At that time I didn't know if I had to have chemo or not so I figured I was going to loose my hair anyways so I bribed a friend to dye it bright PINK for me! Unfortunately the type of hair dye we used can not be covered over so its there for a few months. Apparently that is the least of my worries, but a very close friend has helped me put this whole situation into perspective. I may have a one in ten chance of getting breast cancer again but any one of you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. (Yes I know, I too can get hit by a bus, but this is what I need to keep thinking, each and every day)

So far I have kept working as much as I can, (my employer has been amazing) trying to get outside and walk a bit and always maintaining a positive attitude. My circle of friends have been a God send and I really am so fortunate to have them in my corner. Some days are better than others, but I force the smile on my face every day an focus on all the the GREAT things that have happened to me over the last 55 years. As I mentioned before, and I will say it again and again - I will BEAT this. I am positive of that!

*** editors note: This blog was written to get a few things out of my head as my own form of self-medication. My apologies if any of it upsets you. This will continue, at least until I am no longer able to type.