Restarting the blog - Thursday April 6th, 2023

I just realized that this time last year I was fighting off Covid. That’s something I would prefer not to go through again. How did I get it? There was a live music concert at our friend Jay Smiths old limestone schoolhouse in Harrowsmith. My friends Matt Hanlon, Smitty and Reckless and Banded were playing. It was our first event out of the city for music since Covid hit so it was a big deal to me. 

Today I’m reliving it as I feel like crap and even called in a sick day. I slept for three hours - guess I needed it. I also started my concert calendar for the upcoming season:) 

Tomorrow is Good Friday, everything is closed except Fast Freddie’s and Mackinnon Brothers Taproom. We plan on having an early church service so we can get home and enjoy family time. I’m suppose to be at the Legion to hang with the Amherst Islanders who are having a get together there. We will see if I’m flexible enough to attend both events! No one knows a good time like my island friends:) 

Please bear with me while I figure this blog site out again. 

Sunday 09 December 2018 - JJ's first day Chez Christmas

So we thought last night it would be a good idea to try and get Jesse used to us before we take off on him for the day to go to work. We arranged to go pick him up at ten this morning after  converting the middle room to be his home until he gets used to us.

The sky looked like it had a hole in it while we were driving back to Kingston to pick up the little lad.

After signing a few papers, he was ours. How odd it was to have a cat in the cat carrier and not one sound....no wailing, meowing or crying.

 When we got him home we put the cat carrier on the bed and left the door open. He just wanted to lay there and he looked so scared.

He came around after a bit of time. He sat in 'daddy's' arms for awhile them decided to hide behind the couch.

Hes back in his 'room' now. hiding under the bed. I'm kind of concerned as he hasn't eaten, drank or peed. I hope he gets used to us soon.

Saturday 08 December 2018

Warning; you may want to push fast forward to the pictures. This blog is the new home of my memory. Things I want to remember but seriously wonder if I still have room in my brain for it all.

Awake at 4am, opened my eyes and realized it was December 8 - the one day of the year  I try and stay busy so I don’t allow the sadness of the day to surround me. I You tubed Dec 8 by Betablokka and cried as it played in my ear buds.

Consider yourself lucky if you happened to be alive while John was.

The mister and I have been trying to figure out if we were read  for a new feline in the house. Behind my back he applied at the forgotten feral and we were accepted. We went to have a visit with young Jesse this afternoon and we kind of fell for his cute little face.

I forgot to mention, after we had our initial visit with Jesse, we went to visit the Henry's. 

If Scoobie had his way, they would have a new kitty at their home too!

Two years ago was my last update on ‘my blog’ so perhaps it’s time to warm up to this archaic form of media again. I want to start something different in the new year...something unique...something like a daily diary where I post pictures I took and recant conversations that I had with others. I’ve mentioned it so many times but I’m very scared that I’m going to loose my brain and forget the important things that I encounter on a daily basis.

Life Is beautiful and I plan on documenting every important minute of it, while I’m still able to.

Pl

I skipped a week (didja notice?)

As the weather gets warmer and the snow begins to melt away, I am reminded that life always tends to go full circle. This time last year my biggest concern was scheduling my holidays. To say last summer is just a distant memory is an understatement. I have learned so much about a subject I detest so intensely and I am sure there is more to come. Some days it is hard to keep the chin up and the smile planted on the face, but I do it. I have to do it, for everyone's sake.

I lasted three whole days on the 'new' prescription called Letrozole. All previous symptoms came back almost immediately. I called the doctor and told him what happened and he now knows I will not be able to withstand the hormone therapy drugs they prescribe. Its funny, they want you to take the drugs to stop the estrogen that supposedly feeds the cancerous tumors yet the drugs can cause uterine or ovarian cancer. Does this make sense?

On the positive side, my doctors office called me last Tuesday to inform me that my scan and ultrasound came back fine. No cancer. I miss diagnosed myself, again! They will send me to a gynecologist to see what may be causing some of the symptoms. Just one more appointment that will be added to my cell phone calendar:)

Saturday I attended a celebration of life for an old high school buddy. This girl 'taught' me how to skip class in grade nine. No doubt you're saying "taught you to skip class" ? Yes, I went to a three room school house for eight years, I had no idea you had an option to attend class;) It was a whole new world going to this huge high school in Napanee for so many of us from that little catholic school. My friends name was Denise - she was the same age as me - I hadn't 'seen' her since 1978 but she found me on facebook about 5 or 6 years ago. When we were teenagers, we used to cut class and hang out at a local soda shop called the Newfie House. It was like a coming of age for me, I was 13 and just found a new friend....someone I hadn't grown up with and knew everything about. She was mysterious and funny and knew everyone. May God keep you close, dear friend.

At this celebration of life, I ran into 6 ladies who I have not seen since the 70's and they all remembered me!! They are arranging a ladies get together in the summer and I will be very happy to attend. My high school years were a bit of a blur as it was just such a culture shock to go from a wee school to a huge place full of 1500 kids from all over the place. Spending time with the ladies again was like going back in a time machine. Its funny. I thought I just sort of blended in with everyone at NDSS and that no one would remember me. Well these girls did and we laughed and laughed as we remembered some of the funny things that happened during our high school years. Thank you ladies! I am sure Denise would have wanted us to be carrying on like school kids!

This week is my late week  (12pm - 8pm) Its only for four days so lets hope it goes fast. This coming Friday is Good Friday and we will be celebrating with our gang at the Legion for dinner and drinks. Have a wonderful Easter everyone:)

It was a good week!

Monday I woke up to a big fat profit sharing deposit in my bank account from my wonderful employer. I bought one thing for me and the rest put towards property taxes. I had been waiting for awhile to buy myself a new iPad air and give my old iPad to the hubby. Monday was also the day that I finally got to meet, face to face, my new family doctor. He asked me a few questions (his nurse practitioner already had my medical history documented) and then sent off for a pelvic ultrasound to put my mind at ease. He doesn't seem to think its a re-occurrence of cancer but is taking all the precautions to put my mind at ease I guess. I found out after I left there that he is a Bruins fan...I love him already!

Tuesday was forecast to get a ton of snow, so I ended up cancelling my social worker appointment; I really didn't feel like trudging through snow down the wind tunnel known as King Street East.(as it was we got nothing!) I was actually starting to feel better, not worrying as much and the other symptoms were subsiding so I figured I shouldn't waste their time. One of my cancer doctors did call me on Thursday asking if my symptoms had disappeared and I was so delighted to say they had. So he calls in a new prescription for me!  Letrozole is its name - I bought a 90 day supply - if it starts effecting my head - it will be stopped. Its not worth it and I still don't know what damage the previous drug has done. I really hope I'm wrong on my self diagnosis.

This week has only two appointments. Wednesday night I will be attending the CJAI Board of Directors meeting on Amherst Island and Thursday morning I have my ultrasound over in the Blackburn mews. Say a little prayer that the new pills don't drive me crazy (again-still)

I must admit, this is one boring blog this week. If your reading this from my facebook post, take a look at some of my 'album' posts that I have been resurrecting - These are stories of my youth - when life was carefree and FUN!!

Have a great week everyone. It certainly feels like Spring has Sprung!

In the pink

I've decided that because of all the worry I carry, I really need to rid myself of it. It can't be healthy wondering if every cramp, pain or symptom is cancer returning in another part of my body. I went to see one of my cancer doctors on Tuesday, and because I was so damn scared of what he was going to tell me, I asked my husband to attend. I really wasn't told anything out of the normal, they would arrange for my next mammogram and life goes on. Because I was experiencing symptoms that (in my head) could possibly be ovarian or uterine cancer related, they did blood work and took a urine sample to appease me. They assumed it was a UTI. I knew differently. So after they tested for this, they came out to tell me I was correct in my assumption that it was not a UTI. They advised I make an appointment with my family doctor, as they could only deal with my breast cancer symptoms, not anything else.

So I called my new family doctor (who I have yet to meet) and managed to get my March 31 appointment moved up to this coming Monday February 29th. No doubt there will be a referral for an ultrasound and some other sort of probe. I was also going to ask about something to slow down my over active brain, however the cancer doctor told me to stop taking the crazy drug (tamoxifen) that was keeping me awake at night. He said to try and stay off it for two weeks and see if things change. It's only been six days now, and I can't really tell if I feel differently. This drug has some very odd side effects, a major one being a re-occurrence of cancer. The other is anxiety. I don't remember ever worrying so much in all my life. Some days I'm scared to come home as I have thoughts of my house being on fire and my poor cat being trapped inside. This all sounds crazy to those sane people who are reading this, but in my head, it's all very real.

Next week I also have an appointment to talk to social worker. It is sponsored by the cancer centre so I wont have to deplete my own benefits. Maybe talking to someone besides myself and my blog, may be the key to fixing my head. A Facebook acquaintance mentioned to me yesterday that I can possibly inspire others not to loose hope. That it's important to keep writing. Yes it is, and although many may believe it is for attention, I can assure all of you that I know of many other more effective methods of calling attention to myself. I blog to get those thoughts out of my head. I blog to let others know that cancer can be beaten. I blog to let others know that is ok to be scared but it's also ok to lean on friends and family for support. You are never alone!

Let's hope March comes in like a lamb as I have to walk to KGH and back and I really don't feel like shoveling my way down the sidewalks of King Street East:) When you work 9 blocks away from the hospital, you really can not justify driving there.

Today (Sunday) I have planned a shopping trip with my friend Judy. We will hit the outlet mall over on Division Street. We will shop and giggle and laugh. We will enjoy our time spent together. We will lunch at Fardella's. We will not mention the C word.

Having fun at our local legion!

Last weekend threw us all into the deep freeze. So much so that we had frozen pipes for the first time ever. So much so that it kept us indoors for three days straight. Well almost, I did make it out to get groceries on Sunday morning as Nothing would be open on family day Monday.

Unfortunately I had to call in a snow day on Tuesday as we had a huge snow dump of 40-50 Cm all in one day! As I was on the late shift, I had to drive this week and Billy text me  to say that I should stay home. I went out  to shovel 6 times just so Billy could get his truck off the highway. (His employer sent him home early as most of the city shut down) now I don't need to remind you what it's like shoveling, but try it with only your left hand functioning!!! I also forgot to mention that I had discovered a flattish tire on my car so I had to get it into town soon.

Wednesday is a funny day to 'start' your work week, but that's how it worked out for me. After getting my tire fixed (for free, thank you Black Dog) I had texted my cousin to see what the condition of our shared parking spot was. She indicated the spot was clear but the sidewalk plots had been through and dumped a drift along the road. When I got there I figured that I could drive through it....wrong! I ended up getting stuck in snow right up to the bottom of my windows. Thank goodness I had put a shovel in my car as I spent the next 30 minutes trying to free my car that was hanging out in the middle of Earl street. At least 40 people walked by with no offers of help. I was really looking for one of those snow angels I've read about to appear. No such luck. I was only 15 minutes late for work and am grateful I have an understanding manager and supervisor.

The rest of the week slipped by quickly and before you knew it, it was Friday night. Normally we head out to a friends garage but about 5 o'clock I started feeling ill. My head was pounding, I was shivering and I had a wicked stomach ache. I came home and passed on the take out chicken the hubby had stopped and picked up for us. I sat upright with pillows piled behind me and covered myself with two big quilts. After googling my symptoms and based on the possible side effects of the drug I'm on, I am concerned. I have an appointment with my cancer doctor on Tuesday so they can set me straight. Many times I have been told that once you have had cancer, it's sure to come back over and over. I hate to think that way, but if it's true then I will deal with it when diagnosed. Until then, lets eat cake:)

We bought tickets to a sold out show for a  local 'retired' band called Steve Cheeseman and the Heaters last month and I really felt like I wasn't going to be able to make it. There were so many of my friends going so I didn't want to miss it. It was almost like a miracle, as the day progressed and I thought about all those people who would be there supporting our local legion, dancing and singing along with those good old songs of our youth, well I actually started to feel better. Mind over matter I guess. Even my friend Patsy mentioned that Steve and his band had that gift of making us all feel good. She was right! The symptoms disappeared and a wonderful night was had by all. Especially my husband;) Of course I was the DD, so you know who got to drink beer:)

My friend Laurie was in attendance and while hanging out in the hallway, we happened upon a "boy" we grew up with named 'Fym Kairfax'. (Fym was kind enough to BBQ the steaks for the dinner and boy were they delish!) The first thing out of Laurie's mouth was "why don't we go for a ride in your Trans AM." The look on Fym's face was priceless. He said he hadn't thought about that car in years! No wonder, as it was 40 years ago that he had bought it! Talk about a lot of long time friendships in one building. I swear the majority of the people there had all known each other for decades. That's what it's like to live in a small town! On a side note: I introduced two ladies who didn't know each other and within two minutes they figured out that the ones nieces and nephews were the other ones cousins ! Wow!

So the night flew by. Billy had me up on the dance floor more times than ever before and by the end of the night I was trying my hardest not to giggle as he sang into my ear "to love somebody...the way I love you..." I drove the boy home and kissed him good night;) Funny how he ended up back in bed at noon hour today;)

So this coming week I'm back on 9-5 and I will be car pooling with my Billy. There is another storm predicted on Wednesday and Thursday so I will have no excuse to call in a snow day this time;)

My hair has a mind of its own

This past week started with a visit to the orthopaedic surgeon. I was given the good news that they do not want to do surgery. He wants me to continue doing physio as my shoulder is not completely frozen and can be repaired, slowly. I was so happy I wanted to hug the guy as I really don't want to take any more time off work. So I will gladly do my daily physio and deal with the other stuff as it appears. This makes Cat a happy girl! So when you see me and I'm favouring my left hand, you will know why.

The weather this weekend has been rather chilling - we woke up to -31 Saturday, as well as a frozen water pipe in the basement. I had postponed my bi-weekly grocery shopping trip on Saturday as the wind just made it too damn cold. So Sunday I had to get out and brave the elements. I was surprised that the stores appeared kind of empty even though Monday is a holiday. I got stocked up and back home in record time.

I have a follow up appointment at the cancer centre this week on Tuesday. Of course I will walk there but am kind of skeptical about the weather. We are to get freezing rain and a pile of snow, so we will see what tomorrow brings. (Oh yes, and I have a flat tire, so I somehow need to get to black dog tire to get it fixed) I plan on asking them (at the cancer centre, not Black Dog) for recommendations for some sort of drug to help with the mood swings from the cancer drug. Maybe it will make me a nicer person. Maybe it will help with my hair colour!! Get this: I coloured my hair last Saturday morning and it was completely brown, with a bit of pink still appearing on the tips. Today I woke up and all the gray is back? Wtf? I really don't know why and I doubt that adding another box on top of it will help. Perhaps I am destined to have gray hair for the rest of my remaining days?

Recently I have been thinking about ways to kick my blog up a notch. Perhaps I can add some stories from my past? (my current life is boring and full of health issues which I need to shut up about) As once I'm gone, this blog will be one of  the few things that will be left for you to read. And the purpose of a blog is to express oneself. My son is lucky, he can express himself through art. I have no special skills so words it will be.

I guess I can start at the 'beginning'. I am fortunate enough to live in the same village I was born into. I guess you can say I am a true resident of the Great Village of Bath as I have Grandfathers, Grandmothers and parents buried here. Add to that, I have some of the same friends that I have known since the early 60's! One is CH. We have so many things in common: we were married less than a year apart, our husbands are best friends who have known each other since they were teens, we went all through elementary & high school together, we live less than 2 miles from each other and our mothers grew up together too.

This picture was taken in 1964, I was in grade one, she was in grade 2. I am in the front row, second from the end on the right. CH is in the back row, second from the end on the right. I even remember that dress that she has on, isn't that weird? Most days I cant remember driving into work.

Here we are again, a few years ago. My friend Roberta (far left) and I had shaved our heads a few months prior and we crawled in a vintage limo for this photo op. We happened to be in CH's driveway so I dragged her into the picture too. That's her on the far right, in the aqua top.

For the last ten years, we have been lucky enough to go boating together. It is the one activity that I can honestly say we can enjoy with our friends. There is something about being on the water that brings me a feeling of peace. Last year Billy bought me this huge floating tube - CH and I spent an afternoon floating around on it in a lovely bay by Amherst Island. It was just a few weeks before my lumpectomy, so focused on making every minute count.

A few months later I decided to go in the Run for the Cure. It was a beautiful October afternoon, and despite having breathing and other health issues of her own, there was my BFF right by my side. I really cant express what that meant to me.

Now this wonderful lady will more than likely be miffed that I have blogged about her (again - as I did back in Oct) but her friendship is one of the things that keeps me grounded.

Have a good (short) week everyone - after spending three days house-bound, I am looking forward to get out and hanging with my work family again!!!

I'm gonna cut that PINK right outta my hair!

Tomorrow I get to see the orthopedic surgeon about this dumb rotator cuff tear. I think the pain has subsided somewhat however it has now frozen into place and I can not lift it over my head, at all. Getting old sucks!

This past week seems to have gone by very quickly, I had a meeting on Thursday night for the CJAI 10th Anniversary Party Committee that I am a part of. I still find it hard to believe that the station has been around for ten years. Especially when everyone thought it wouldn't last a year! That old milk house is where I have spent many a good time. So much has changed and will be changing, and I have decided that I should be a part of it. Considering the fact that I was there in the very beginning, it is something close to my heart.

This picture was taken the first summer CJAI was open - 2006:

 This was taken a few years later by my friend Dana Orr:

Yesterday was the day to get the PINK cut out of my hair. My hairdresser has been sick and had cancelled on me twice. Just before I headed out the door yesterday morning, the salon called to say she was sick again. I was fortunate enough to get an appointment with Heather and she did a fantastic job. My hair is very short now and the pink is just a distant memory. It's almost like the pink remnants were holding me down somewhat. Since I was diagnosed, I have had numerous people send me messages and tell me face to face that I am a 'hero'. Although that is very flattering, and I certainly appreciate the kudos, but I am not a hero. I am a person who was told that if I didn't have surgery, I would die. If I didn't have radiation therapy, I would die. If I didn't take this memory-robbing, estrogen-depleting drug for ten years, I would die.  Even though I'm old, I'm too young to die. I have done what anyone would do: fight!

And this is what it looked like before the hair cut:


I hope everyone reading this counts their blessings tonight and be very thankful for all that have!