Four months since the dreaded diagnosis date

I just realized this afternoon that it has been 4 months today since I received that awful call AT work informing me I had breast cancer, Yes I know...what a place and a way to find out. It was partially my fault as I had bought a new cell phone on the Friday before that (while on holidays) and apparently my (new) family doctor was trying to contact me. How ironic that the four hours that I had no active cell phone, they were trying to call me! So this is part of the reason why I could not keep this a secret...my co-workers knew so I figured I should let all those around me know so there would be NO rumors - just facts. A few people have told me I should be keeping my trap shut; that I am alarming others by telling them. Sorry, that's not how I roll.

Since then I have had a plethora of tests, scans, blood work as well as one tumor and 5 lymph nodes removed. Long story short, the cancer was found in a lymph node inside my right breast which is the reason that I will need to endure 25 rounds of radiation - 30-45 minutes at a time. I also get to take a drug called Tamoxifen for ten years. (This drug not only brings on hot flashes, insomnia & depression but increases the chance of obtaining other forms of cancer.) The type of breast cancer I had was classified as 'aggressive', however a test was sent off to California which determined that chemo would only decrease my chances of re-occurrence by less than 2%. Without radiation my chances of re-occurrence are 1 in 3, with radiation it is 1 in 10. Four months later and I am still waiting for my radiation schedule. hopefully this week they will call me as its kind of close to the holidays.

So if you run into me somewhere, and are wondering why I have half washed-out pink and mostly grey hair, that would be due to the Run For The Cure I was in last month. At that time I didn't know if I had to have chemo or not so I figured I was going to loose my hair anyways so I bribed a friend to dye it bright PINK for me! Unfortunately the type of hair dye we used can not be covered over so its there for a few months. Apparently that is the least of my worries, but a very close friend has helped me put this whole situation into perspective. I may have a one in ten chance of getting breast cancer again but any one of you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. (Yes I know, I too can get hit by a bus, but this is what I need to keep thinking, each and every day)

So far I have kept working as much as I can, (my employer has been amazing) trying to get outside and walk a bit and always maintaining a positive attitude. My circle of friends have been a God send and I really am so fortunate to have them in my corner. Some days are better than others, but I force the smile on my face every day an focus on all the the GREAT things that have happened to me over the last 55 years. As I mentioned before, and I will say it again and again - I will BEAT this. I am positive of that!

*** editors note: This blog was written to get a few things out of my head as my own form of self-medication. My apologies if any of it upsets you. This will continue, at least until I am no longer able to type.

I made it through the CIBC Run For The Cure - Sunday October 4th, 2015

I know what everyone is thinking: is she insane? Going in a race?? Well, up until July 8th, 2015 you would never catch me anywhere near this event,  unless it was to volunteer or to donate money! Then I was dealt the "cancer card" and I knew that I didn't have time in my life to wimp and whine about it. It was time for this girl to try and make that change. The change to eliminate this world from Breast Cancer, forever ! 

Let's go back in a time, shall we? August 2007. My friend Roberta was arranging a customer appreciation day for her patrons at our local gas bar, Fast Freddie's Free Flow in Bath. I don't remember agreeing to have my head shaved with her, but I had apparently signed some document indicating that if she raised $2,000.00, I too would join her. The funds raised would be donated towards Breast Cancer Survivors. When the donations got up over $2,300, I knew my lid was going to be quite a bit lighter. So we went through with the public head shaving, had lots of pictures and a few newspaper articles written about the event and that was that. In May of 2013 Roberta was diagnosed with breast cancer. Being the determined young lady that she is, she beat it! (There was never any doubt in her mind)  It wasn't easy for her as she worked thought most of her treatments. She lost weight, lost her hair, yet kept on smiling, and working and keeping her customers happy! Now it's my turn. Ironic?

My employer, Empire Life Insurance is a big supporter of Run For the Cure. They had already set up a group called The Empire Spitfires, all I had to do was register online and share my page with others. My initial goal was $300; after reaching the $500.00 mark, I bumped my goal up to $1,000.00 By the time I had left home for the race, I had $1000.00 in online pledges and $645.00 in cash and cheques. I'm not sure how it works with my employer; I believe they add in an additional $1,500.00 somehow. When I picked up my friend Colette to travel to the event, she handed me a cheque for $25.00, my new total is now $1,670. How surprised I was to arrive home after said race to see another $60.00 in online pledges. $1,730.00 is nothing to sneeze at! The day after the race my friend Scoobie also donated $50.00 bringing the grand total up to $1780.00. Next year I am setting my goal at $2,000.00! 

Colette and I arrived at the event way too early, and stood there for almost 2 hours before the start of the race. Not a smart thing to do when you have knee issues:) Can you believe that we have been close friends for over 50 years!!! I was so tickled that she was walking with me; a true friend indeed.  I was fairly close to where my co-workers were gathered and was shocked to see virtual strangers (yet co-workers) walking with MY name on their shirt! How can I possibly thank these people?  Just before the race started, I gave my friend Helen's youngest daughter Shayanne a big hug before she set off with her high school team, The Ernestown Eagles! It was her first time participating and I wanted to let her know how much I appreciated her being there. After the opening ceremonies and a quick warm up aerobic exercise, the bag piper started the walk by pipping in the Survivors. I became weepy as I watched my good friend Judy walk with all those who have beat the evil disease. She has fought breast cancer three times and survived!

There were four of us heading out together. As we rounded the corner from the back of the college, we looked up Portsmouth Ave, there was the first sign we wanted to see: we had reached the 1 KM mark !!!  We headed down into Portsmouth Village, when we heard a fiddle band serenading us in Portsmouth Park.   I posted a quick video on facebook of them:) We crossed King Street and headed towards the Portsmouth Olympic Harbour site. How sad to see all those boats being hauled out. This was where we reached the 2 KM marker and were welcomed with portable washrooms, cups of cold water, AND a glorious view of Lake Ontario. Of course I had to have my picture taken here.

 As we headed up the hill by Rockwood Asylum, I warned Christine that she would soon hear a loud clicking noise.

 My titanium knees apparently didn't like being waltzed up such steep inclines. Somewhere along this lovely walkway, there was a young man, sitting among the trees, quietly playing his guitar. How soothing. The hill up to Lake Ontario Park was a tough one as the sun beamed down on us; I somehow forgot I was sporting two shirts. I could feel the sweat dripping down the side of my face, but didn't even think that it could possibly be the bright pink hair dye seeping from my hair. At the top of the hill, there was a four piece rock band playing classic tunes from the 70's. We stopped in the shade to wait for Judy and Colette to catch up. I then sprinted ahead and walked the last portion of the last kilometer alone. Christine caught up to me and we walked through the finish line together. 

This event couldn't have been planned any better. The weather was perfect, the companionship was outstanding and the support I have been given was out of this world. I am proud and honored that so many of my family, friends and co-workers have donated so much to push me way over my initial goal. Thank you Thank you Thank you!

P.S. I too will beat Breast Cancer...Just watch me!!!

   

Nothing like a health scare to make you appreciate your life even more!

I have contemplated posting this story, but the more I think about it, the more I feel compelled to share. Not only for the sole reason of getting it out of my head, but to make others realize how they need to pay attention to their bodies warning signs.

As I approached my 55th birthday this January,  I was bragging how good life would be when I was eligible to get 'senior' discounts at certain stores and venues. How else does one take getting older with a touch of humour? Not to get into specifics, but two days before my birthday, a portion of my body malfunctioned. I figured it was nothing important and dealt with it. Then I got to thinking, maybe this is a sign that I need to visit my doctor. Now my family doctor that I had since 1972 had retired last summer, so I would be telling my life history to my new doctor: a virtual stranger. He told me not to worry and set me up for blood work and an internal ultrasound. After having both done, I waited for the results. I had made a follow up appointment with the doctor for March 27th. Imagine my surprise when I got a call at the end of February asking me to come in and see the doctor ASAP.  The first words out of his mouth were " I need to let you know that 'this' is considered Cancer..." And he went on to explain how I would need to see a specialist and possibly have a biopsy. Of course, after the c-word, I blanked out.

The appointment was made with the specialist at KGH. Due to the fact that I work < 10 blocks from the hospital, I opted to walk over. I cried all the way there and back. The appointment, which was a blur, ended with a chunk of my DNA being ripped from the inside of my body. After loosing my mother to that f'ing disease, all I could think was that I was not ready to leave this earth. I have way too many things left to do on this earth. Of course I shared this with my husband, close friends and a couple of co-workers. There would be a two week waiting period to get the biopsy results. The first week was spend crying, worrying, planning the revisions of my will, and seeing what benefits I might be entitled through my work. After consulting with my friend Martha, a Cancer survivor herself, I realized that planning for the worst was counter productive. I oftentimes thought 'what would my Mom tell me to do?' So the second week I changed my tune, and put a positive spin on things. The good Lord was NOT ready for me to take up residence in his home.....

This past Tuesday was my follow up appointment at KGH, I walked over there with my head high. I could feel all those positive vibes coming from those who knew what I was up to that morning. As I sat in the room waiting for the doctor to arrive, I took two pictures out the window. The second picture I took looked like a beam of light coming down from the heavens.  I didn't notice this till much later in the day after posting the pictures to facebook. The doc came right out with the good news : NO CANCER! The technical name of the condition is called atrophic endometrium. He said if I have no further symptoms, he never wanted to see me again. I felt like hugging him I was so happy! I basically ran back to work, and didn't really realize my luck till I walked into my work area and locked eyes with my Supervisor Rupa. She jumped up and started to hug me....tightly! Of course, that's when the tears of joy started to slip out. I sent out a message to my dear friend Martha, and then got right back to work. Imagine my sheer joy when I came home and found a lovely handmade tag tied to a bottle of white wine sitting on my doorstep. How thoughtful of Ray and Martha in assisting with my celebration of life:)

I still am in awe of my incredible luck and the fact that my initial conclusion, as crazy as it sounded, was so wrong! It was not God's will to take me this early...he must want me to partake in the true senior discounts we are rewarded with at the age of  60 and 65!

It's been almost seven hours since I deactivated facebook

As hard as it is to believe, I have finally taken the plunge and deactivated the evil. Facebook. I have No self control, so I knew the only way i could walk away from it was to deactivate and remove the app from the phone and iPad.

Tomorrow may be another story. I am hoping I can make it a whole 24 hours and if I can, then I may consider a second day...and maybe ever a third. The reason you ask? Because I am sure there are better things I could be doing with my time. So far I have started watching a fabulous documentary on Stevie Nicks and David Stewart, did some gardening, watered my plants, had a visit with my neighbour who, owns the marina and his dog on my dock and wrote in my diary.

Now I plan on having a good nights sleep, no checking Facebook at three AM! Let's how the first 24 hours goes!! Wish me luck;)

And I believe I mentioned that I would write a blog every week.

Yeah, that was 12 days ago. A lot has happened in that time. Let's see, we had a major storm, which covered everything in three inches of ice. That negated me having a parking spot downtown, so I have managed to use vacationing friends parking spots. ( big props to Caroline R & Anita I ) Add to this, the minus 30 degree Celsius weather that arrived right after the freezing rain. Suffice to say, we have not travelled far from work or home! Today was the day that was spent chopping said ice....my arms feel like butter right now.

Last night, we actually got out of the house and went to visit friends. We shared a free #5 from Capri and played euchre for a few hours. What a treat, human contact with a couple we have known almost all our lives. We used to do that almost every weekend. I wonder why we don't visit with friends anymore?

This week I work 8-4, so I should be home before dark each night;) sweet! I need to fit in time for an e-test on Malibu Molly and get my license sticker before the end of the week too.  Another big plus is that I get to visit my friends at the legion for dinner this Friday! First time since November! In a few weeks we are attending a dance at the same legion, with Steve Cheeseman and The Heaters. This will be the Heaters last show, so it should be a hoot. It seems odd that we tend to hibernate in these cold winter months. Shouldn't we be spending time with family and friends and plan upcoming outdoor occasions?  Personally, I can't wait to May 24 weekend so we can get our boat launched and start our boating season. It seems so far away.....

Sleep well friends....it's almost time for me to go allow George Stromo put me to sleep;) Every Sunday from 9-12pm, the Strombo show can be heard on CBC Radio 2. It's three hours of great tunes and conversation. If you're not careful, you may learn something!

Ciao

All is quiet on New Years Day

It's been a few years since I have visited my blog spot. Why, well there really is no excuse. Maybe it is the time-sucker called Facebook that has kept me away?

Here I am, starting into my 54th year on this planet. As a wise woman mentioned, it is best to start the year with a clean slate. Forget all the bad stuff that has happened in the past year and concentrate on the good things to come.

Do I have a resolution, why yes I do. I will keep it to myself, for now. I really need to make changes in my life and this one resolution will certainly help. I have already quit smoking 11 years ago, and I know what I need to do to get on better shape....but this one resolution will tie everything together to move in a more positive direction in life.

Hard to believe that I have been at my new job for ten months on the 4th of  January.  I think they like me there and although I may be a bit slow in remembering 'everything', my support staff and co-workers have been fab. It really is an amazing place to work.

There we go, day one of 2014 and I finally made it back to my true love....blogging;)

Living each day to the fullest.....

Recently, a childhood friend of mine asked me if I felt a story coming on about our fragile existence. She is going through an awful time with her father who is in a home and suffering from Alzheimer's disease. Witnessing such a tragic event must be devastating, to say the least. To add to that, she is also loosing people to cancer and heart disease in her own demographic. Did we ever think we would get to this time of our lives where are friends are passing away?

Well Roxanne, I didn't feel the need to write when you first approached me, but these past few weeks have certainly changed my mind. One of my dear friends (who just successfully beat breast cancer for the third time) lost her Mom to cancer on March 17th and just last week I have discovered a new friend of mine is battling Ovarian Cancer. Add to that, the 2 year old daughter of one of my ex-co-workers is battling a form of juvenile leukemia. Now it feels close to home. Way close. So I need to write...

When I was nine, my Grandfather Guthrie passed away from cancer. Up to that point, I had never known anyone who had passed away. I didn't understand why people seemed to be so happy at his funeral. Later on I was told because grandpa wasn't in pain anymore. That made sense, in my 9 year old mind, although I was still sad that he was gone.

Fast forward 1975 - I am in Grade 10 at Napanee District Secondary School, my new 'Townie" friend Deb Magold, convinces me to skip school & go to Wartmans Funeral Home with her. A friend of hers had died in a car accident and she wanted to go see him. All I remember of that visit, was the pale, see-through skin and how I felt that I had seen a ghost. It was terrifying and unforgettable. If memory serves, this young man took his own life by driving off the road and into the North Channel of Lake Ontario. What seemed so unbelievable was that this victim was not much older than myself. How could THAT happen?

Over the years, I have had a few friends pass away, as well as grandparents and my own parents; but the majority of them were all over 50. Understandable. But not when it comes to people *my* age. I thought I was going to live forever...I thought my friend Rhonda Woodcock once told me that we were 'bullet-proof'! Did she lie to me?

Now that I am over 50, as are most of my friends, it appears we no longer have a lifetime ahead of us. When I think back on some of the crazy stunts I pulled in my youth, it is truly amazing that I am still here to talk about it. Even though the world was a different place when I was growing up, something always made me want to push my limits. Maybe I somehow knew that it was the right time to explore and experience life....before marriage, before adulthood. I have no regrets. I managed to find my life mate and have had a good life. Many are not as fortunate.

If you are looking for the moral of this story, I would have to say that it is to live life to the fullest.
Call or email an old friend...don't keep saying "We need to get together" and not take steps to make it happen. Do things that you always planned on doing, but kept putting off. I will take my own advice, as I am not getting any younger:)

An chance encounter with an *old* friend:)

Last night I ran into a long lost friend. We had not seen each other since 1980. Unfortunately I didn't recognize him at first...until he spoke. How odd that I can identify voices better than I can faces or names.

In 30 years this man has built his career to a position of prominence and respect. But to me, he is still just Andy! In a short time, we both managed to re-cap our lives and shared some delightful old memories of our years being schooled in a two-roomed school-house. We spent the first 5 grades being taught by Nuns; then in Grade 6 we were 'blessed' with a young male teacher named John Burke. He was fresh out of teachers college and he certainly made a huge impression on all of our young minds. "Mr Burke" spent hours playing football and baseball with us. No doubt these were things that the Nuns were not allowed to do. One of the things that I remember most about his unique teaching abilities was how he blended modern music into our education. How unheard of in that day and age...especially at a Catholic (or as they called it then: Separate) School. I remember learning all about Jesus Christ Superstar and thinking how cool it was to twist the ancient words of the gospel in with music of the era. I also remember listening to the Rolling Stones song Brown Sugar and trying to interrupt the lyrics. Perhaps this man was the one who developed my intense craving for music? 

So getting back to Andy...he had moved out West when most of my friends from the area did and I don't think I have seen him since. It is ironic that was our (Billy's and mine)plan as well! Bill's Mom asked if we could get married before we flew the coup, so I asked Bill to make an honest woman out me and we got married 6 months later. By that time, Bill had a good paying job with his brother in an auto parts store and I had started my short lived career in radio. This was our reasoning for staying 'at home'. As I said to Andy last night, I didn't think I had a choice to leave Bath :) My grandparents and parents worked so hard to make our village a better place to live...someone had to stay to enjoy these virtues. Many times I wonder what life would have been like had we moved out West.  Would I have come back 'home' often? Would my hometown be a place I would have been so proud to be from? Would we have still had only one child? Would I still have been working in the radio business and would Billy have found his fame and fortunate in the oil fields? Maybe I would have crossed paths with Andy sooner, instead of later. 

As we chatted last night, I asked him about his life & what it was like living so far from 'home'. He mentioned how proud he was of his wife and children & that the prairies were 'home' for his wife. That was when he said how lucky *I* was to still be here...still able to take in the beauty of great lake every day and the ability to stay in close contact with those we had known since childhood. I have to agree, he had a point. I spend every weekend with those I have known forever. So as Andy gets ready to travel back to his home, I will think of him fondly and hope his short trip 'home' was rewarding and filled with pleasant memories of a childhood in a much different world than we live in today! Thanks for the memories Mr McG :)

2012 - almost 1/6 completed.

And this is my first blog of the year. I have no excuse as I have completed nothing since the xmas holidays. In fact, I have been quite a sloth. This must change. Perhaps I am stretching the truth somewhat. I have fulfilled my requirements of the United Way Citizen Advisory Committee in the past month. So that is something. A LOMA course through work has also commenced and I will be starting a French course soon. Oh yes, and I forgot that I have set a schedule for my return to CJAI in May. (hint hint Jim Elyot, Greg Hunter & Chris St Clair) Next on the agenda is buying a new bathing suit and pool membership and get my body moving again. We have taken the plunge and become pet owners again. We adopted a 7 month old kitten named Cindy Lou and she has already developed the same kleptomaniac ways that our last cat Jethro had! We are so happy to be a complete family again. It seemed empty without a feline in the house. This winter has been an odd one. The North Channel froze for less than 48 hours and the geese, ducks, swans and seagulls are still hanging around like its mid October. In fact, why we dragged the dock and the boat out of the water still doesn't make sense. The count down is on for summer holidays. I have all but one day booked and cant wait to start on the May 24 weekend! There are many that have to travel down south to make it through the winter, I wish to spend my money here at home. And besides, I can barely keep up to my property taxes so I cant afford a trip down South:) Enjoy the long weekend everybody. I plan on studying and relaxing. Isn't that what family day is all about?